Interview: Siobhan Fallon

By now I’m sure you’ve heard about Siobhan Fallon and her remarkable story collection You Know When the Men Are Gone. Siobhan lived at Fort Hood while her husband was deployed to Iraq for two tours of duty. Her stories examine the experiences of the families of our country’s soldiers. The New York Times’s Janet Maslin called them “gripping, straight-up, no-nonsense stories.”

Siobhan recently moved with her family to Amman, Jordan. But the wonders of the internet bring us these thoughtful answers to the blog interview questions . . .

What is your favorite quality in a person?

Intellectual curiosity. That eagerness to learn something new and talk about it, to see what other people think and to engage in fresh ideas. That’s what drew me to my husband when we first met, and I think it’s what draws me to every new friend I continue to make.

What is your least favorite?

Being long-winded. Which is one of my own flaws! I find myself getting restless when I am listening to a person who uses too many words–in my mind I am yelling, “C’mon, get to the point!” I want to edit them. I think it annoys me so much because I wish I was someone who could succinctly say what I mean at all times (rather than being the chatty rambler I am).

What is your greatest fear?

Yikes. I wish I could say it was a bad book review! But now, as a parent, the first thing that flashed across my mind at the words ‘greatest fear’ was something happening to my child. Or something happening to my husband during a deployment. As hugely important as a book is, no matter how much it seems to envelop your entire life at times, I don’t think anything book related could compare to something happening to my child or spouse.

Who is your greatest love?

My greatest loves are also the people I fear for the most: my daughter and my husband.

I used to think parents were being ridiculous when they claimed that they loved their kid more and more each day, but, man, it is actually true! Who would have thought! My daughter is almost three and a half and I love having conversations with her, hearing all her clever, lucid silliness, watching her draw her grotesque figures (she is really into putting teeth in all of her faces these days, so every picture of a person looks skeletal and hungry).

And my husband, well, I can’t imagine life without him. Even when he is on the other side of the world, he is my best friend, he’s there for me. At the moment, he is in Amman, Jordan, and I am finishing my book tour and getting ready to join him with my daughter. So we email a lot, and I have had quite a few writing deadlines lately, and I never feel like a piece is finished until he gives it a read. No matter what time of the day it is in the Middle East, however busy he might be with whatever the Army has put on his plate that day, he finds a way to read everything I write, to get comments back to me, to tell me that I’m great. A girl can’t get any better than that.

What is your idea of a perfect day?

The mom and wife wants to say something really nice and family-oriented like a trip to Disney, but after after all this non-stop running around with my book and our recent move cross country from CA to NY, soon-to-be cross world to Jordan, right now I am dreaming about a lazy day.

I’d love to sleep in until whenever I pleased (my husband is very good about playing with my daughter in the early mornings), then maybe we all head to an art museum or some kind of writer museum (OK, you think I am totally being fantastical, right? Though there is the Steinbeck Museum in Salinas, CA, and the Ranson Center in Austin, TX, so these amazing oddities do exist and they are INCREDIBLE! Just imagine someone thinking that a writer’s words are import enough to archive! To have interactive displays and glossy photos! Wow). Maybe my kiddo takes a nap and I manage a couple of hours of uninterrupted writing—writing is always such an endorphin rush for me, even just a new paragraph on the page feels like a tremendous accomplishment worthy of a glass of wine in celebration! Next dinner at home, maybe sushi or salmon or red curry with that earned glass of wine, husband putting my daughter down while I page through a New Yorker or a friend’s new novel. Then I whip up some kind of fun appetizer or dessert and my husband and I sit on the couch and watch Top Chef.

OK, I just reread that. You all are going to think I am the biggest loser in the world. But we travel a lot, we spend a lot of time apart, and a quiet day at home just seems so glorious to me.

What place do you love?

My father’s Irish pub, The South Gate Tavern, in my hometown of Highland Falls. It is one of my favorite places in all the world. Sometimes I walk in on a Sunday morning, while my dad is making coffee and getting ready to open, and just stepping into that bar makes me think of my childhood and adulthood and so many great moments in between. My mother worked there up until the day she gave birth to me, I danced to the jukebox as a kid, had my sweet sixteen birthday there, I bartendered my way through my MFA, I met my husband there, it’s where we had our daughter’s christening, and we have spent endless hours with the members of my family there. It’s a second childhood home.

If you weren’t a writer, what would you be?

When I was young I wanted to be a painter. That sort of visual art seemed so glamorous to me.

Which person, living or dead, do you most admire?

Shakespeare. 400 years later and we all know his name. He didn’t kill anyone, rule anyone, discover a new world or make a million dollars. He crafted beauty and grief, poetry and stories, and it made him immortal.

What are the words you live by?

Maybe: “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers” from Tennessee Williams’s A Streetcar Names Desire. I think kindness is never overrated. Sometimes it’s what makes life seem livable. You have a rotten day and the gal at Wendy’s gives you a big grin with your Frosty and suddenly things aren’t so bad. So much of our lives are spent with strangers, on subways or airplanes or grocery store aisles. Make eye contact and share a smile, why not? You never know what that other person is going through, if maybe they needed to see that someone in the world took the time to notice them.

For more information about Siobhan and You Know When the Men Are Gone, visit www.siobhanfallon.com.